Vertical Hold

Last night I had a burger in a pub where I often drink on a Friday. It was rather a good, succulent meaty burger topped with melted Gruyere, but…

… they put salad inside the bun. Why?

Now don’t get me wrong, I do like a little salad with my burger – but on the side. What is the point of stuffing it inside the bun so that the lettuce gets warm and soggy and takes heat away from the meat?

I guess it’s all part of the current trend for vertical presentation of food. You know, you get a massive plate with a little heap of mashed potato in the middle with sausages or strips of liver and rashers of bacon balanced precariously on top of it, and if there are any vegetables they’re probably somewhere in the stack too. So it was with my burger. They’d probably put the chips in the bun if they could get away with it without the whole thing collapsing.

If anybody who prepares burgers is reading this, I’d like my salad cool and crisp on the side of the plate. Then you needn’t shove one of those silly sticks through the whole creation to stop it falling apart.

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